There was a certain amount of anticipatory buzz about Michael Ross Albert’s The Bidding War, directed by Paolo Santalucia, that opened at Crow’s Theatre on Wednesday night.  Crow’s has built rather a reputation for punchy, darkly humorous, Toronto-centric plays.  This time it’s basically a satire on the Toronto real estate market and the sharp practices of the real estate and property development industries and for the most part it hits the mark.

Owing to the death of the former owner, a sculptor, the last affordable house in the downtownish area has come on the market.  Selling it is the first venture into real estate for Sam; a friend of the family but something of a loser.  It opens with Sam desperately trying to get ready for an open house when June, the sculptor’s daughter and also a sculptor (of pieces made from bioluminescent algae) based in Berlin shows up jet-lagged.  She is the co-owner and has no idea why her step-mother has entrusted the sale to Sam.  They row and Sam agrees to convert contract to one in which he must obtain a sale in 24 hours.

The prospective buyers and their agents arrive during these shenanigans.  The house is priced too low and there are rumours of developments (gentrification natch!) that will boost values in the area.  The prospects include a technologically challenged retired teacher, an unemployed journalist and his heavily pregnant wife, a gay couple and a gym bunny who peddles humiliation on Tik-tok and Instagram.  As the buyers’ agents begin to realise just what a steal the house is they try desperately to fob off their clients so that they can put in an offer themselves.  Mayhem ensues.

There are lots of Toronto clichés and obvious farce elements but just as it seems to be descending into rather predictable slapstick it takes a shocking and darker turn with with an allergic reaction, fights, an unfortunate encounter between an eye and a sculpture of a bug, and serious shagging in the basement.  It’s not every play where the stage hands come out to mop up the blood at intermission!  In the second half relationships start to fall apart, characters reveal their deepest fears, the physically maimed reappear to terrifyingly funny effect and we finally learn who has been pulling the strings all along.  Cynicism gets its reward but it’s a less than zero sum game.

It’s well constructed theatre brought off by a talented ensemble cast.  Peter Fernandes is excellent as Sam and he and Veronica Hortiguela, as June, do a very good slow reveal on their long standing, rather fraught, relationship.  Gregory Waters as the muscle guy Charlie is incredibly feral and is especially funny when he and unscrupulous realtor and wannabe Tory MP Blayne (Aurora Browne) get jiggy.  Her second act appearance is also rather striking.  Gay couple Donovan (Izad Etamadi) and Ian (Steven Sutcliffe) are convincing and the latter is especially good in Act 2 portraying someone still suffering from an acute allergic reaction.  Their realtor Greg, who can’t quite get over his ambition to be an actor, is nicely played by Sergio Di Zito.

Gregory Prest, as the earnest journo Luke, and Amy Matysio as Lara, his more materialistic and heavily pregnant wife, knock spots off each other in a sometimes cringe-worthy way.  The cast is rounded out by Sophia Walker as Patricia whose real estate practice is collapsing and who is trying desperately to dump her client Miriam; the latter played by Fiona Reid who does an excellent job of playing someone who is not quite as as dumb as they make themselves out to be.

It’s put together really well; staged in the round with quite striking sound design by Olivia Wheeler and lighting by Christian Horoszczak.  The sets by Ken Mackenzie and Sim Suzer are simple but effective and the “bug sculptures” are genius.

It’s a good night at the theatre.  It’s clever, if in places predictably so, and at times it’s laugh out loud funny especially if that’s how you react to the unexpectedly horrible.  The direction is tight and there’s fine ensemble acting.  Overall it lives up to expectations and is probably going to be a huge hit.

Photos by Dahlia Katz.  I just wish there were a few of the weirder bits of Act 2.